MUP: Motivation Using Posters

Despair has all of your catchy, cute motivational posters. Check a few out.

Hunting Blonds

The modern gentleman may prefer blondes. But new research has found that it was cavemen who were the first to be lured by flaxen locks.

According to the study, north European women evolved blonde hair and blue eyes at the end of the Ice Age to make them stand out from their rivals at a time of fierce competition for scarce males.

The study argues that blond hair originated in the region because of food shortages 10,000-11,000 years ago. Until then, humans had the dark brown hair and dark eyes that still dominate in the rest of the world. Almost the only sustenance in northern Europe came from roaming herds of mammoths, reindeer, bison and horses. Finding them required long, arduous hunting trips in which numerous males died, leading to a high ratio of surviving women to men.

Lighter hair colours, which started as rare mutations, became popular for breeding and numbers increased dramatically, according to the research, published under the aegis of the University of St Andrews.

Don't believe me? But there is reason to be alarmed .....

A study by the World Health Organisation found that natural blonds are likely to be extinct within 200 years because there are too few people carrying the blond gene. According to the WHO study, the last natural blond is likely to be born in Finland during 2202.

Whoa is us, when the blondes disappear!

Gambling On Things

[edited: updated 4/24] I'll be taking a vacation from blogging from now until June 1st. This is due to the fact that my manhood has been challenged and apparently someone extremely hot, sexy and seductive thinks I can't go until June without posting boobs. Well, for $1.25, I'm willing to stop posting altogether so I can 1) win $1.25 and 2) ...... damn, I can't think of a good 2nd reason to not post boobs.....but I'll keep working on it.

Okay, so this is what happens when you come off a crack induced high and then switch to sniffing Pam fumes.

1. He'll be single by Valentines Day, 2009, with the grand total of losing $1.25.
2. By April 3rd, 290 or 140 will pay off TBD.
3. IOU 2 tickets to Wrigley Field; you owe me a night on Chicago -- no p.m.s. either

There, now my memory will hold steady that I have it written down. And if I get more offers, I can always edit this post.

P.S. Snickers made me fat, who am I kidding - my laziness and overeating made me fat.

Baseball Is Upon Us

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Members of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays team, coaching staff, and front office expressed concern Tuesday that they might not be one of the lucky 30 teams invited to participate in the 2006 Major League Baseball season. "There's a lot of good teams out there, and most of them have been around a whole lot longer than we have," Devil Rays manager Joe Maddon said. "The Yankees, the Red Sox, the Angels—you know they're all going to make this year's league. I guess we just have to try our hardest, put some money into this club, and prove that we belong out there with those other teams." Opposing managers throughout the AL agree that, while the Devil Rays may someday make a decent big-league ballclub, it's probably best that they get some experience first by starting the season in Triple-A. The onion is there.

Guys, Stop Dreaming

NEWS FLASH: Jenny McCarthy Would Like to Have an Orgy

Jenny McCarthy would love to take part in a sex orgy. The busty blonde thinks her breasts are so perfect she wants to share them with as many people as possible. She said: "I always wanted an orgy to see what it was like, but never got the opportunity."

"I have good boobs and I know they'd get a lot of attention. Hey if someone's tickling my body parts I'm happy."

Here's the proof.

ASCII Never Looked So Good

And if you'd like to actually see her dance, this link will take you there.

Getting My Blood Boiling

Reverend Fred Phelps, the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas has a following of about 75 kooks, crazies and radicals who protest against homosexuals. However, their logic isn't just that God hates homosexuality, he hates everyone who allows them to live - namely the U.S. and since the U.S. has a military, they're an extension of the U.S.. Here's an example of a typical loon follower. So when a soldier dies and is buried in the U.S. they -these Phelp's followers- turn out to protest the fallen soldiers because, in their words, "God hates fags". Problem is, they're protesting during funerals - not to politicians or at parades or in a public square. No, they do it at funerals for our fallen soldiers when the families are trying to come to peace with their tragedy and have the proper send off for their loved ones.

Well, thankfully, someone has come up with an awesome idea. The Patriot Guard Riders were formed. Basically a group of motorcycle riders, some veterans, some not, who form a loose perimeter around the funeral so that their motorcycle engines drown out the chanting protesters and they each carry an American flag to mask the protest signs. If you have any free time and/or would like to assist, please contact the group and help out in your area.

The Patriot Guard Riders homepage is here (and getting hammered lately) and says it best

We have an unwavering respect for those who risk their very lives for America's freedom and security. If you share this respect, please join us. We don't care what you ride, what your political views are, or whether you're a "hawk" or a "dove". It is not a requirement that you be a veteran. It doesn't matter where you're from or what your income is. You don't even have to ride. The only prerequisite is Respect. Our main mission is to attend the funeral services of fallen American heroes as invited guests of the family.

Notes of upcoming help that could be needed -- unfortunately I'm linking below to the fax sheets that Reverend Phelps sends out to get the protests organized. They're PDF formats too.
Lincoln, NE 2/25/06 here
Anoka, MN 2/23/06 here

Vehicle #4, Pick-em-up #1

Isn't it cool? Today over lunch I finally closed the deal and purchased my fourth vehicle in my life. I've been driving around in a '97 VW Jetta with 125,000 miles and a transition that was heading South pretty fast with the shift points slipping so the engine would rev to 5,200 rpm's before shifting. So I purchased a Dodge Ram SLT 2X4 Big Horn Patriot Blue pickup truck.

So now I have a fat ass to haul around in my phat truck. I'll post some pictures of my actual truck when I can convince a hot blond model in a bikini to lounge all over the truck (only in a non-ojectifying way of course son-to-be-mommy-sis; of course). Or who knows, maybe I'll actually have someone take pictures of me and my new non-human best friend.

Foiled Again and Again and ..... Damn! Again!

Okay, this weekend really was a vacation, not just me being lazy like last weekend.

Prior to leaving, I was having issues with my computer here at home. It's an old laptop that I salvaged from long ago; she's slow but sturdy and running Linux - Fedora Core 4 to be exact. Now, although Linux is chipping away at the desktop market, it's not ready for the vast majority of now Windows users because you still need the command line occasionally -- think Start - Run - Cmd for you Windows users.

Well, two weeks ago my "P" button was beginning to get flaky. It wouldn't work 75% of the time I'd hit it when typing. I ended up typing using the normal fingertip method until I needed to type a P and then it would be a missile guided index finger banging the P button to hopefully make it work -- force usually solves most of men's problems don't you know. I eventually pried the P button off and tested the internal function of the keyboard and it wasn't sticking and upon returning the key, it worked. Cool!

Then a day or two later my ";" (semi-colon) button started acting up. I noticed this when I would string together commands on the command line in Linux. Rather then type:
/etc/init.d/network restart
enter
cd /
enter
sudo updatedb /
and ...well, you get the idea of numerous commands, you can string them together to look like this:
/etc/init.d/network restart; cd /; sudo updatedb /
enter
and the semi-colon tells the computer to do them in succession from left to right and don't return to the command prompt until you're done. Crap! So again I removed the key and wouldn't you know, the internal spring was fine and upon it's return, the semi-colon worked as normal.

I then took my vacation in case you're following along chronologically ...... on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best), it was an A+ weekend vacation!

Upon my return last night, the stupid "/" (slash) mark started acting up. Go up 2 paragraphs and you'll notice that the little simple example I gave previously had 5 slashes for 3 commands. Whether they were strung together with a ; or entered individually, they needed the slashes. And this one became painful when it's a pinky key dangerously close to the enter key. My guided missile solution worked but occasionally I'd hit the enter key and dork up whatever I was doing.

Again, I popped off the key but this time it was different. I found one of those little plastic T's that clothing manufacturers use to place tags on clothing. It was half the size of a grain of rice in width but just as long. However, it was perfectly sized to stop the key from being depressed normally. I removed it and replaced the key.

It finally dawned on me that I never solved the issue before but only removed and replaced a key. And the fact that the issue came from P ; / didn't hit me either that it didn't make logical sense that those keys in that order would simply stop working. But now that the little plastic do-hickey is removed, I'm guessing that the issue will not re-appear. It beat me in 3 battles, but I'm hoping I've won the war.

Who said Diet Coke wasn't a good idea for breakfast?

Ladies: Happy Valentines Day

Vacation Is Over

"Vacation? You went on vacation and didn't tell us?" you ask.

No dumb-asses. I simply got tired of posting stuff for a while. Nothing really worth writing about in my personal, and for some reason I couldn't find anything stronger then PG-13 to post about. I keep hearing about all of these adult sites on the Internet, but alas, I can't find them in Google, Yahoo, MSN or AltaVista. Yes, I know, I don't write much about myself in here and normally just post about things that strike my fancy, humor me or are somewhat exotic but are basically just other things reposted in here. But nope, 7 days went by and nothing. So now I'm actually writing.

I could come up with excuses but I won't. I'm above that. I won't tell you how cold it's been here since last Wednesday -- lower 30's at night and highs of only 50+ -- and how its miserable & I'd prefer to simply crawl under a blanket or my covers at night then surf the web and blog. I also won't excuse my lack of posts with a demanding schedule at work, helping with my son's Cub Scout den meeting (I did tell you I'm the Den Leader, right?) or the 2 social functions the Scout Pack had this weekend on Friday and Sunday. That just wouldn't be right coming up with excuses, you all have full-time jobs and demanding social schedules too, so why should mine count for more? It shouldn't. Anyway, excuses won't feed the bulldog, so I won't use them.

Today I did hit a favorite site over lunch Worth1000, which is a Photoshop contest site. There were some awesome pictures and great contest. These two are from the "Life Thru X-Ray Specs". I'm ramping back up slowly - do the clicky-click thing on the picture below to see the details that someone put into the x-ray itself. I laughed, maybe you will too.

Hot for Teacher! This one's becoming a theme of mine I think. Where was my Strip-O-Phone from Nookia when I had Ms. Trent for 7th grade math? Math Teachers are sooooooo HOT!

Ahh Shucks....all the good ideas are gone!

Kristen King told Dan Allan to surprise her.

He did.

King, a preschool teacher at Millard's Norris Elementary, had no idea she would find her future husband on one knee when she entered his classroom this morning.

"I thought we were reading a story - that's all," King said minutes after the engagement on Valentine's Day.

Her left hand shook as she showed off her new half-carat, princess-cut diamond ring.

Allan, a special-education teacher, had been planning the proposal for a month. He knew he wanted their students to help. So he knew he would do it at school.

A para-educator brought King's students to Allan's classroom, while Norris Principal Peggy Brendel sidetracked King in her office.

The children giggled and fidgeted as Allan arranged them into a group near the door. They practiced turning around a sign that read, "Miss King, Will You Marry Me?" They were excited to be in on the secret.

Allan, 26, paced, hands in the pockets of black slacks. He flashed a few nervous, dimpled smiles and finally pulled the ring box from his left pocket, cupping it in his right hand.

He and King, 27, had picked out the ring at Nebraska Diamond three weeks earlier. But his sweetheart didn't know he had purchased it and wasn't expecting him to pop the question until next fall.

"It's been kind of a whirlwind," Allan said.

The two met last school year when Allan was a student teacher at Norris, but they really hit it off five months ago at the school carnival. King asked him to run the cotton candy machine with her.

Now, they are planning a June 23, 2007, wedding at Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church.

As for the story King was expecting?

The classes did read one: "Secret Valentine."

Candy Has SO Evolved Over The Years

I remember when I was younger, and candy bracelets were all the rage. Kind of girlie? You bet, looking back on it. Did I care then or now? Nope!

The reason I bring this up is a few days ago I posted what I thought was a rather sexy (okay, really sexy) photo of a woman wearing a candy bikini bottom. Well, tonight, surfing through a few sites, I actually ran into a shop that sold the bikini tops and bottoms (or posing pouch). So much for the picture being a one time homemade deal or a Photoshop special.

So next time you see a child wearing one of these, know that in time, they'll be able to upgrade to something much better. Heck, V-Day is fast approaching, get one for yourself and have a ball.

Say What At The Olympics?

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Super Bowl Time!

Party On!!!

Confession Time

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand.... and try saying things like "Yes, I see," and "Yes, go on," and "I understand."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No shit... what happened next??"

It's Time for a Blond Joke

A blond is at a small lake and her friend shows up on the opposite side of the lake. With no obvious way to get to her friend she yells, "how do I get to the other side?"



The blond yells back, "You're already on the other side!"

Saving Money?

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; 'cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own . . . so does she.

The Religion Of Peace?

Some of the Muslims offended by the famous Danish cartoons depicting Islam as something less than a religion of peace have a solution: kill anyone who disagrees.

Can anyone think of a single Islamic terror attack, including 9/11, that has caused Muslims to get as upset as they are now about Danish cartoons? Cartoons?!? How seriously are we supposed to take this religion?

Everyone's mad. Even the US.

And yet the Christians have their own ass-hat pretending to be someone he's not, but nothings getting burned, blown up, desecrated, spit on, boycotted or killed.
Kind of makes you go "hmmmm?".


[updated later] Even the ghost of General Patton has a few words to add to the discussion. Although the name calling and sinking car will be automatic red flags to you blue staters, the rest of the message is spot on. And as a former military person, you have to love that last line he says (besides not having to read anymore).

No Response?

We'll never know which came first.

Men!

Domo Slim-J

Change-Up Plan

I am so excited that baseball is about to start. I'm about to pop! Okay, so the counter under my handsome, magnificent, alluring, macho, charming picture in the upper right hand corner shows the number of days / hours / minutes / seconds until pitchers and catchers return to Spring Training for MLB to start getting underway now. Yes, I know that Nolan Ryan has had a mini-camp in Houston for prospective players and even Roger Clemens pitched for his son's BP. However, I'm talking about the real baseball season returning.

Like I mentioned before (in a rather sappy, strange and meandering post) I have gotten my feet back under me and I'm now debt free (except my abode which is a good thing now that it's tax season and my interest is deductible). Anyway, I say this because as I'm now in the black, I am going to get a half-order of season tickets to the Astros this year. But the problem that I'm now faced with is where do I want to sit?

I have roughly 4 choices and I'm like a dog in a round room looking for a place to pee in the corner. I've gone round and round on this one for about 2 weeks now and I just can't seem to pull the trigger on where I want my seats. The stadium isn't too large so no seat is too bad, but it's still tough choosing.

So I'm looking for some help, if you don't mind. Here are the choices:

1. Down right field line, over the outfield fence.

2. Out in centerfield, over the outfield fence.

3. Tier II seats down the right field line.

4. Tier II seats down the left field line.

5. This one is not a voting option, just checking to see if you scroll down the page enough to see all of the choices, and quite honestly, you expect something like this from me, don't you? BTW, it's Kris Benson's wife, Anna, at a photo shoot - more of her here - and during this photo shoot the call came in that Kris was traded to the Mets (notice the hat?).

Feel free to vote via the comment section. Anonymous is fine with me, I'll tally the vote and let you know.